On top of ol'Spaghetti...

The Flying Spaghetti Monster was spawned during the Evolutionary Wars last year (no, not those Evolutionary Wars) as a perfectly reasonable alternative to creationism/intelligent design. After all, if some ambigious, unnamed super-powerful entity could have created the universe, why couldn't the it have been the The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Now its Gospel is about to be revealed and in it true believers will discover:

• A "Flying Spaghetti Monster" created the universe, Earth and its creatures, making a few mistakes on the way after drinking heavily from heaven's beer volcano.


• The FSM hid dinosaur fossils underground to "dupe mankind" about Earth's true age and is the secret force behind gravity, pushing everything downward with its "noodly appendage."


• The FSM wants everyone to talk and dress like pirates. Global warming is considered a punishment for the relative scarcity of pirates these days.

And as we all know, any theory that has pirates has to be right. I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere (well, maybe not there ... but definitely somewhere). Now if only they could work in some ninjas...